I work with a younger man, we will call him Kevin. He is a good person, but had a horrible upbringing, so he spends a lot of time talking to me about various issues like his mental health, love, and career. Often he says things like “I just need to eat better” or “I just need to exercise more” when talking about some of the issues.
Last night as we were leaving he was talking to me and he ended with “I just need to meditate more.
“You know Kevin,” I said “you often talk like there is a magical solution for your problems, do this one thing and they will be better. But the truth is the only solution is managing your problems.”
Have you fallen into any “just need to” thinking?
Because while things like diet or meditation might indeed help, I find the definitions of “manage” often make me feel a lot more confident, and also more flexible. The word manage comes from the 1500s used to mean to handle, train, or direct a horse. Like a horse your issues can have a mind of their own, be hard to direct, and might not always cooperate. But with care and skill they can be led, directed or even ridden. My favorite definition of the word manage might just be a insight into how to deal with issues in your life:
“To work upon or try to alter for a purpose”